Put your hands on my cashmere sweater

Fall!

2009-09-26T01:20:30Z

I bought a pumpkin today!

morofthesea @ 2008-05-08T00:58:00

2008-05-08T04:58:30Z

I accidentally cut my bangs too short. Should I cut off all my hair?

Damn you Cabbie!!!

2008-05-02T16:53:56Z

The city's changing the taxi system in DC. I've only taken a cab a couple times (and shared it with like three other people) but the fare has never been outrageous. I don't know if anyone's ever taken a cab in DC, but like everything else in this weird little city, it's complicated. There's a zone system that separates everything into neighborhoods, and the zones go clockwise? maybe from NW to SW. And the cabbies all know. "That'll be 19 bucks, drunk bitches." or "14 American dollars, tourists."

And now, the city is mandating that all cabs have meters. Why? I think the antiquated mapping system is suited to this poorly mapped out, traffic-circle hell of a city.

hilarity

2008-04-26T22:42:31Z

Things I've done today

2008-03-04T04:56:18Z

1. Finished off a box of tissues.
2. Drank cough syrup straight from the bottle.
3. Ate a raw turnip.
4. Made and ate turnip fries (which are so fucking good!)
5. Yoga.
6. Worked for two hours on a manuscript about payout strategies.
7. Fell asleep reading with my glasses on. (I can't do that normally. Putting on my glasses is synonymous with waking up.)
8. Wrote a stray workshop critique.
9. Finished writing my submission for Thursday. Booyah!
10. Didn't sound like a tardface in class today.

Accomplished today from 12:01 am to 11:50 pm.

Relief!

2008-02-18T18:49:47Z

Okay, how do you spell relief? Having a song in your head that you haven't heard in years, don't remember what the name of the song is, only know part of the chorus, and it's on loop. How do you break that cycle? Find the song. Listen to it. And take away it's power to take up space in your thoughts. I remembered it was a song I listened to when I drove my Acura. I remembered that it's one of those songs that sounds great in spring weather (which is why it came to mind this morning). And I remembered it was a rock song. I searched through my iTunes library, and finally, all at once, it all came tumbling down on me. Lit! Lovely Day! Yes! And that's relief.

blergh

2008-02-13T17:59:42Z

My heat's broken. Why does indoor climate control allude me?! Every place I live by myself, the heat breaks. And every car I've driven has had problems with the AC. And the heat come to think of it.

Why this week? It's so cold and disgusting and miserable outside. With the possibility of ice and snow and rain mix. And I'm inside wearing long johns, two pairs of socks, sweats, and a blanket, drinking tea, and shivering! What the hell? I haven't called the building yet because I haven't showered, which is slightly dumb, but I'll call on my way out the door today.

Junk mail is occasionally hilarious

2008-01-23T21:45:29Z

Out of nowhere, I started getting these weird emails telling me about drugs to increase the size of my manhood. Which is weird. Because I have a huge cock. Or male device as this email names it. Is this not the funniest thing you've ever read?

"Your woman lived you alone because of she had jazzed it with your friend.

By reason of of his aggregate length. Women love big male device.

Dont panic fellow. At present you have unique chance to Lengthen your instrument length.

This is your possibility to change your sexual life."

Male devices aside, I have a date on Friday. Which is awesome.

I am: 1.) Home 2.) Cold 3.) Exhausted

2008-01-04T00:46:32Z

1.) I just got home less than half an hour ago. My flight was a little delayed leaving Dallas, but it wasn't too bad. It was supposed to depart at 11:05. Ended up getting in the plane about 12:00ish. Since it wasn't a super packed flight, nobody elbowed me the entire way to DCA. Took a shuttle instead of the train since it's fucking cold. I think the windchill was like 11 this morning. (I know those are bogus measurements, but god they were accurate today.)

2.) I turned my heat off while I was gone, and there are a few drafts in my apt. Blasting the heat right now, wrapped in a blanket, and sipping on some hot tea. I'm getting warmer.

3.) My sleep habits have been weird lately, and having to wake up at four this morning didn't do me any favors. I went to bed at around 12:30 but didn't get to sleep for an hour or so because I wasn't that tired. I'm still not tired and so still won't go to bed.

Until I've been up for 24 hours, really hungry and an upset stomach.

movie times

2007-12-28T06:57:21Z

I've railed against the movie version of The Kite Runner before on my journal. Here's another reason to be pissed off about it:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16912162

x-masing

2007-11-29T04:25:27Z

I need your addresses. I can't seem to find my notebook with all the addresses I've accumulated. And the holidays (except I don't really know too many people who doesn't celebrate Christmas) are around the corner, block, bend. As a side note, let me know if you've already received the cute little snowman card. Those fuckers have lasted me for three years. Which probably just means I need more friends.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-30T05:22:28Z

I'm really not in that Halloween type spirit. Which is a little sad. Although I'm a big fan of the new icon. It's from an lj community drinksfortwo, which is really nifty. Anyway, Halloween decorations, I'm all for them, but it just hasn't really felt like the holiday I know and love. Besides, I have to go to this reading on Halloween. Ghugh! Don't they know that Halloween is way more important than some chick reading from her novel? (Truth be told, it's a really good novel and I really want to meet her.)

My mom's sending me some longjohns in the mail. I love and miss my mom dearly, but she wants me to visit my grandma, with whom I don't really get along. It's the sort of stereotypical Mom-type guilt-trip you'd see in a movie, which is fine. I don't think I'll succumb. She downplayed the idea that I would join them in South Carolina for a weekend with "You'd really only have to say hi. I just want an excuse to see you." Sweet. Cute. Not working.

By the way, I hate Parzival in case any of you have read this. Oh my god. How many fucking characters are there? I don't feel too bad, since the professor readily admitted "The names in this one are ridiculous." It's like every other page there's a new Herzeloyde or Belacane or Pompeius or Manpfilyot or Gurzgri. The list of names is seriously like ten pages long. I can't believe I have to read this whole fucking thing. I really just want to skip this one. I've read everything else. I was really tired of Beowulf by the time we were done with it, but I now long for Beowulf. The amount of names and recounting of lineage is nothing compared to this convoluted mess of names Wolfram von Eschenbach probably just made up to rile up those courtly folk! Come on!

Goddammit

2007-10-05T04:46:48Z

I lost my phone. I feel so lost.

I may have left it in someone's car, but I'm not sure. If I've actually lost it for good and you need to get ahold of me, email me.

jcarpenter@huntingdon.edu

Hung the fuck over

2007-09-30T20:19:22Z

I have never gotten so drunk in my entire life. Oh my god. I don't even remember how much I drank, but it was way way waaaaaay too much.

I went out to a bar with the MFA crowd after the civilized, low-key MA/MFA party. Everyone was so nice to me, and three people bought me three drinks too many. I guess I didn't realize how much wine I drank because it was all in innocuous plastic cups.

It was an evening of many colors though. I drank black and tan, red, and white.

I got so drunk that a guy I met that evening (a classmate's husband) had to carry me out of the bar. Then Jason came over today and helped me do my laundry. He cleaned my kitchen and made me tea. So sweet. I'm feeling a lot better but still pretty shaky.

I knew ratings were retarded and all

2007-09-11T00:43:23Z

Okay, Kite Runner the movie is rated PG-13 for "strong thematic elements including the rape of a child."

What the fuck? People get up in arms about dildos in South Park and puppets fucking in Team America, but the rape of a child is considered okay for a 13-year-old to see? I mean, I would not want a kid to read Kite Runner. For one, it's the most depressing book in publication today. Seriously. If you don't believe me, just read it. I'm still trying to crawl out of the pit of despair I was unceremoniously dropped in when I finished that book almost three years ago. I can kind of see the argument (South Park is vulgar and Kite Runner makes an artistic point about human suffering blah blah blah) but good god! It's not for teenagers. And I'm like the last person in the world who would argue about shielding the youth of America from traumatic images.

And if the directors/writers are keeping true to the way the book tells the story (doubtful), there is not one rape but two. And the second rape is not just rape. It's the repeated abuse and degradation of an innocent (11-year-old?) boy. Sure, the abusers are portrayed as wrong, and the boy is an innocent victim, but I'm not comfortable with the PG-13 rating. There is some really nasty stuff that happens in the book. Am I just completely crazy in thinking that this is a movie geared more for adults?

classes and such

2007-08-29T01:23:54Z

Can I share something with you?

I'm terrified I'm going to do badly in school. I was literally shaking through class yesterday. I was just thinking "I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. This is too much. I'm going to fail." Three classes. I haven't even been to the third class yet.

But you know, I'm excited. I've never been pushed this hard. I've never had so much required of me, and I've never felt so inadequate (and I'm pretty used to feeling inadequate.). I'm excited about what I will be pushed to accomplish and how deeply these feelings of inadequacy run.

I got to the point today that I could feel no more nervous. It was physically impossible to be more nervous. It was impossible to feel more alone, more scared, more discouraged.

Then, I called my dad. And Jason. And my mom. And suddenly, I felt as though I could not feel more encouraged, more loved, more supported. I felt blessed, comforted, and most of all, I felt whole. Because I still feel nervous. I still feel scared, but the nervousness doesn't fragment me anymore. And despite being scared, I'm here.

Maybe I'll screw up and never get my degree. Maybe I'll do fine, mediocre and get into another school and land a mediocre job. Maybe something else will happen. I don't know, and that's the best thing ever. Because today, I found that no matter what I do, how I "fail" or succeed, I'm still loved.

I know there are so many things no one will understand about my relationship with Jason. And I'm saying this knowing that I will forever be in ignorance of how everyone else falls in love. Jason always tells me that we give each other pieces of ourself. Not like I give Jason a piece of my heart, blah blah blah, but that Jason gives me a piece of my heart back to myself. I told Jason that I was scared of failing because I didn't want to disappoint him. He told me I can't disappoint him. I can try, but I will always fail in disappointing him. And then he told me that I was scared of disappointing myself, but that deep down, I can't. And he's right. I couldn't feel the depth of love I feel for Jason if I didn't also love myself.

So, that's how the first day of class went for me. And by the way, I love you all.

A little more settled

2007-08-10T14:25:47Z

I've (sort of) moved into my new apartment. It hasn't quite sunk in that I'm *living* here. That will happen later, though, I'm sure.

I'm stealing the interweb signal from the place across the street because interweb lady hasn't called me back yet. So, here are some pictures.

Zack and I had a photo shoot. Awesome.

Then, I got on a plane, flew to Midway, flew to IAD, and waited for Jason to pick me up. There was sake involved, and suddenly, it was Sunday. I was running around the Smithsonian with my rents. Monday was moving day, and I really don't want to remember that. There was a lot of lifting and yelling and exhaustion. I rode the metro back to Jason's place because my bed was still in pieces. Tuesday was a shopping day. Got the table and chairs, the little cart in the kitchen, and groceries. Wednesday, another shopping day. Thursday, we went to Maryland, and I had two of the best soft-shelled blue crabs ever. And today, I need to get some more stuff organized. The kitchen's pretty okay, but the rest of the apartment needs help. Here's how it looks so far:

The kitchen.

The dining/living room.

The rest is a disaster area. I'll post more later.

Okay, so more organizing for me now. And I love you guys lots, and I'll get in contact with you guys later.

I'm out.

kinda getting nerve-y

2007-08-04T05:32:28Z

I leave Albuquerque tomorrow morning. In nine and a half hours. I don't think it's fully hit me that I'm moving tomorrow. Not just taking a trip. I'm going to DC to live. I feel like the enormity of the situation should have taken me over and at least caused some sort of minor breakdown. But I'm feeling good. A little nervous. A little jittery/excited. A little sad. Albuquerque was good to me, and hopefully, DC will be just as good.

I must pack my computer now. I'll post from my new apartment soon. Hugs to all.

HP madness

2007-07-13T04:13:45Z

I'm going to go see Harry Potter tomorrow, hopefully.

I'm also having a couple friends over for a Harry Potter dinner party. Hopefully.

I made cockroach clusters, acips pops, butterbeer, red current rum, pumpkin cookies, trifle, and lentil shepard's pie. I think I'm going to sneak some of those snacks into the theatre.

Are topical pain relievers known for making your muscles/joint area numb? I almost typed tropical.

I am a machine!

2007-06-13T03:58:32Z

No seriously. I am. My boss always gives me the longest, most tedious tasks ever. It's always shit that she doesn't want to do or just never has time to do. Like, for example, because a 164 page file didn't upload the way it was supposed to, she had me hand enter it. Double columns. 11pt font. She was like "This might take a couple days." Wrang! Four hours! Then, there was this filing, copying, stapling, mailing task for today. She referred to it as my project for the week. Wrang again! I finished today.

I'm also a running machine. And a shopping machine. My mom and I bought bunches of grown-up clothes for me.

But right now, I want to be a reading machine.

Whew!

2007-06-02T23:59:29Z

So, as a present to myself, I cooked an awesome lunch. The menu:

Vegetarian Caribbean Salad with Roasted Sweet Potatoes

I am a total tornado in the kitchen.

But look at the yumminess that resulted!

I've had a good day. Very low-key and hardly celebratory but I'm happy all the same. Maybe I should just start posting pictures of all the food I make. Like, I can link a lot of my best memories back to food, and I'm trying to get super awesome at cooking. This meal was good for just me, but it was very overpowering. Way too much ginger and not nearly enough sweetness to mellow out the spicy. The grilled onions turned out well for my tastes, but I had way too many on the plate. And they were a little undercooked because I am way too impatient to grill stuff. I think maybe if I added some kind of nut to the salad and toned down the dressing, it would be awesome. And also, the sweet potatoes need their own separate sauce along with a simpler spice rub (I had way too many flavors going on there).

Oh well. Try try again, you know?

Jason weekend

2007-05-28T20:54:51Z

Jason was here this weekend. I dropped him off at the airport a few hours ago. While I'm waiting for the kind of bummed out feeling to wear off, I thought I'd post a few pictures of the weekend with the bitchface.

We went out with Zack on Friday night.

We went to the park.

And ate fooooooood!!!

And Jason even helped.

Which was awesome. My weekend made me feel pretty much like this:

I love that boy so much. It's so hard to say goodbye to him, but I know I'll see him soon enough. And really, we're going to be together for the rest of our lives.

Ow my carpals!

2007-04-18T04:49:35Z

My right arm is slightly numb and tingly and generally in carpal distress because of my extensive keypad usage today. Which means I can't actually finish my 12 step program anytime soon without being incredibly whiny.

Nor can I rant at length about my job training frustration. Man This American Life is really sad. But I'm the dumbass who listened to it even after Ira Glass prefaced the show with "Act one fills you with hope. Act two well, basically does the opposite."

Bookstores and the like

2007-04-13T04:28:21Z

I love it when a seller on Amazon is selling a book for thirty-five cents. That's right. Thirty-five cents. Plus shipping. So, really 3.85. But I get a book! No guilt.

Well, I guess I should explain this a little. I have this strange guilt cycle about buying books. Here's about how it looks:

1. Oh look! An awesome book that I want! How fun and exciting! I shall buy it, take it home, and read it before I sleep! What a spiffy concept
with exclamation points and everything! Joy of Joys! Life is exciting!
2. 24.95?! Are they crazy?! My exclamations have turned into outraged questions!
3. If I pay 24.95 for this book, how is that saving money? I'm supposed to be saving money. Spending money on a book is the opposite of saving
money. No books!
4. But what if I go to that used bookstore on Juan Tabo?
5. That used bookstore is crap compared to Acapella. I miss Acapella. Maybe I could fly out to Atlanta and
6. Stop. Right there. Do you realize what you're suggesting? Flying to Atlanta to go to a used bookstore you like in order to save money on
books. Genius.
7. I sure wish I still lived in Montgomery. That way I could borrow books from Robin. Wait. No. Bad Janel.
8. Isn't there a better way? What's the price on Amazon?
9. Still 16.75 plus shipping. I can't afford that.
10. I totally can! I get paid this week.
11. But I'm setting a bad precedent. Allowing myself that 20 dollar frivolity means succumbing to every money-needy whim. And soon I'll be
on crack, turning tricks.

Choose an ending:
12. So that's no book for you, Miss needless money-waster ma'am.
or
12. Fuck it. I still have some money, and this is an investment in my academic future!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2007-04-03T03:43:56Z

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheheheheheeee!

(whew)